mandyc

I hate you, I hate you, You stole his heart, I'll never have a chance with him, You stole his heart. You stole his mind so he can only think of you, He will never think about me, All he will think about is the time you spent together, I hate you, I hate you, You stole his mind. You stole his eyes, So when he looks at me he sees right through me, When he looks at the house all he thinks about is how you were here, you were there, His eyes compare me to you, I hate you, I hate you, You stole his eyes. You stole my happiness, I never knew you Rebecca, But everyone compares me to you, The housekeeper, the servants, Forever d

How am I supposed to feel? It is hard not to cry, Not to scream and shout, How are you supposed to feel when the little girl you spent all your time playing with, Suddenly becomes a boy. When she wants to be called he, When she says call me Cody, When one day she walks through the door and she is not a woman anymore What are you supposed to do? You want to be supportive, But all you feel is shock, All traces of that girl is gone, But is she still there inside? Is the little girl I grew up with still there? Will I ever see her again? My whole perspective is shifted and I am thrown on my face. I am not sure how to act around yo

Baby how I am supposed to love you, How am I supposed to take care of you? When you won't let me in. I try so hard to so to show you that you can depend on me, To be the shoulder you can lean on All I want is for you just to let me see what you're feeling, No matter how hard I push, I am pushed back even farther. Baby how are we supposed to be together, When we can't communicate? When I can't be let in when your hurting? My heart breaks because I can't help you, My soul is dying because you won't even give me a chance. Baby I love you Please let me in I am crying out for you to let me out of the darkness on the outside, And le

My darkness follows me whenever I go I cannot tame it I cannot even give a name to it It always controls me. No matter how much I want to get rid of it I cannot No matter how much I want to be normal, I will not be Until I have this dreadful dark passenger away from me. I cannot sleep at night Killing occupies my every thought Even if they deserve to die Society views it as wrong. I pretend to be normal I pretend to have a soul I pretend to be a human Even though I am not one. Why has the human's god Chosen this path for me? Why must I live with the fact that I am a monster And always will be one.

If life was so easy I'm not exactly sure where I would be Would I ever work to achieve my dream? Or would I have it just handed to me? If life was so easy I wonder if I would have worries or cares What would that feeling be, To never have thoughts occupy my brain Would I just be a mindless blob? Forever content with lackluster? Would life even be worth living anymore? If life was so easy If life was so easy Would I even be inspired to write these words? Or would I just waste all my thoughts away? Would I ever have any thoughts at all? If like was so easy I think I'd rather not live at all If life was so easy

It's easier to hurt someone, But it's harder to be the one hurting. It's hard to see the faces they make when you walk away, Or when you say something. It's hard to feel like your not included in anything, Your too shy to stand up and speak for yourself When you finally get up the courage to speak, What do you say? It's hard to trust someone It's hard to depend on someone When all you can think about is how will they hurt you, How do you keep it from happening? You become a shadow of yourself, You see weakness in someone else, So you smash it in order to feel better. I wish I could make myself feel better, So I could help some

Does it even matter what I think anymore? Does anyone even care? It seems no matter how hard I try, No one seems to understand. All I want is for someone to see below the surface, I'M NOT OKAY, I feel like I could scream it in your face, Muster up the courage to put it in a text, I could write it on the small of your back with my fingers, I could cut long scars on my arms, If it will only get you to see... I want to let you in, I want to shove you away. I don't know to how to help myself, How are you supposed to help me? I think about suicide like a normal girl thinks of icecream, It's a thought that never goes away. All I ca

I just need some time to breathe, I'm not sure what's inside of me, Not sure how to channel all the anger, all the pain Not sure how to take care of myself. I'm not sure if needing someone is good or bad, I feel like free falling backwards, And there is nothing there to save me. If I ever crash, will be there be someone to miss me? Someone who will care? Is there something I can do To make the hurt go away, To make the emptiness cease, To make me feel like I'm worth something again Will I ever learn the true meaning of being me?

The soft sounds of your breathing, The sound of your heart beating inside your chest, The smile that never leaves your face when you're with me, The love the swells up inside of me. Is it really possible to love something as much as I love you? The soft sound of your voice as it calls to me, The sweet taste of your lips as they touch mine The tenderness of your skin against my skin Love is different than anything I have ever known. It's a feeling that no matter how many words I think of to describe it, I can't think of one that hits it just right, Not one word can describe what you make me feel inside, Not one moment can sum up eve

I'm giving up, but you think I'm actually trying my hardest. I've been bending over backwards for you: I stopped complaining, I do what you want, I let you win, I call back first, I don't argue, and I don't ask for anything at all. I watch what I say and I do what you want. You think I'm trying my hardest. But I gave up who I am and what I want. I'm giving up me for you. That saddest part? You're okay with it. You like this way better.

Okay, Breathe. It's not the time to fall apart. Life is coming fast, and the worst has only yet to start. Its time for our new lives to begin, as we enter the next phase of our lives. As the big buildings loom before us, and our loving families say goodbye. It's time for college, and the new dorm smells like fresh paint. There's new sheets and new books, and all I want to do is faint. I want to go back to being young, when adulthood was only a threat our parents made. Now that I'm living on my own, I wish that I had listened to what they said. Okay, Breathe. Everything will be alright. Even if I can't crawl quietly past my

I close the door behind me, and then it's just you and I in my room, the room I've filled to the brim with broken hearts and smothered feelings and long-forgotten dreams just dying to spill out. Do you remember last time?, I wonder aloud. Last time, this room was empty, empty of everything, except for you and me, and there was only one broken heart, but that was enough. We filled the room with candles, dozens of them, and lit them one by one, not because I love candles and not because it made the room smell like spearmint and eucalyptus, but because it's better to light just one candle than to curse the darkness. Of course you remember last

In your heart, you think you are ugly You just know that you are stupid You can't stand your voice, or the way you laugh. In your heart, you think you are boring You just feel it when people stare at you You can't stand your hair, or the contours of your face. In your heart, you think your fat You just cry yourself to sleep You can't stand your habits, or the things that I love most. All your flaws, you flaunt them at me. No matter what, I tell you your wrong. Babe, the only flaw you ever had was taking your life from me.

She said You belong with me And she's got everything— but You should’ve said no. Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window I'll be waiting (all there's left to do is run). I wonder if you know I wanna kiss you in the rain so— You put your eyes on me And I never knew I could feel that much. I can’t help thinking About you and me As I paced back and forth all this time Is this in my head, I don't know what to think. ‘Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale But you were everything to me. I can't help myself, Been here all along. I'm sick and tired of your attitude, Even now just lookin

you can be my best friend, and we can hold hands everyday on the way to school - or you can move 300 miles away and we won’t hold hands anymore. but you can still be my best friend, if you’d like? --- it’s ten years later that we meet – quite by chance you’re giving me this look and - i have a bag full of bottle caps and – and it’s not mysterious or intriguing or anything. it’s just annoying, and they jingle and clatter together when I’m walking and – it’s just annoying. okay? and why should i even talk to you? when you promised me you’d stay in touch and that we’d

You'll never know how much you've helped me. All of the days when I've come to school with tears in my eyes. All of the days where I've hated myself. Hated my friends. Hated my family. Hated everyone around me. Hated my life. All of the days when I just couldn't take it... You'll never know. You'll never know how many times you've saved me. From cutting. From fighting. From screaming. From breaking. From crying. From just giving up. From leaving. From doing the unfathomable... You'll never know. You'll never know how nice it feels, to have someone to hold me. To have someone who loves me, because of who I am...

I'd rather be asleep when I'm awake Because nothing is ever as it seems. I can pretend that he never existed but only in my dreams. I'd rather be gone when he's around Because he is ripping me apart. Nothing matters anymore As he takes my heart. I'd rather be surrounded by one thousand fireflies I'd rather have disappeared that night. Because I feel so much more alive Without you in my sight. I'd like to make myself believe That I can forget. One thousand fireflies to remember you by Each one brightly lit.