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RebeccaI hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his heart,
I'll never have a chance with him,
You stole his heart.
You stole his mind so he can only think of you,
He will never think about me,
All he will think about is the time you spent together,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his mind.
You stole his eyes,
So when he looks at me he sees right through me,
When he looks at the house all he thinks about is how you were here, you were there,
His eyes compare me to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his eyes.
You stole my happiness,
I never knew you Rebecca,
But everyone compares me to you,
The housekeeper, the servants,
Forever devoted to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole my happiness.
ConfusedHow am I supposed to feel?
It is hard not to cry,
Not to scream and shout,
How are you supposed to feel
when the little girl you spent all your time playing with,
Suddenly becomes a boy.
When she wants to be called he,
When she says call me Cody,
When one day she walks through the door and she is not a woman anymore
What are you supposed to do?
You want to be supportive,
But all you feel is shock,
All traces of that girl is gone,
But is she still there inside?
Is the little girl I grew up with still there?
Will I ever see her again?
My whole perspective is shifted and I am thrown on my face.
I am not sure how to act around you anymore,
Afraid to offend,
Afraid of the fact that I don't understand,
What it is your thinking,
What it is your going through,
I am confused with how I feel, what am I supposed to do?
When all I want to say is she, she,
And all you want is he, he,
How did I not see this to start with?
Why I am so confused?
What do you want me to do?
Dexter MorganMy darkness follows me whenever I go
I cannot tame it
I cannot even give a name to it
It always controls me.
No matter how much I want to get rid of it I cannot
No matter how much I want to be normal, I will not be
Until I have this dreadful dark passenger away from me.
I cannot sleep at night
Killing occupies my every thought
Even if they deserve to die
Society views it as wrong.
I pretend to be normal
I pretend to have a soul
I pretend to be a human
Even though I am not one.
Why has the human's god
Chosen this path for me?
Why must I live with the fact
that I am a monster
And always will be one.
Easy= BoringIf life was so easy
I'm not exactly sure where I would be
Would I ever work to achieve my dream?
Or would I have it just handed to me?
If life was so easy
I wonder if I would have worries or cares
What would that feeling be,
To never have thoughts occupy my brain
Would I just be a mindless blob?
Forever content with lackluster?
Would life even be worth living anymore?
If life was so easy
If life was so easy
Would I even be inspired to write these words?
Or would I just waste all my thoughts away?
Would I ever have any thoughts at all?
If like was so easy
I think I'd rather not live at all
If life was so easy
Stop HurtingIt's easier to hurt someone,
But it's harder to be the one hurting.
It's hard to see the faces they make when you walk away,
Or when you say something.
It's hard to feel like your not included in anything,
Your too shy to stand up and speak for yourself
When you finally get up the courage to speak,
What do you say?
It's hard to trust someone
It's hard to depend on someone
When all you can think about is how will they hurt you,
How do you keep it from happening?
You become a shadow of yourself,
You see weakness in someone else,
So you smash it in order to feel better.
I wish I could make myself feel better,
So I could help someone else.
I wish I could not get caught up in the cycle,
I wish I could get myself out.
DrowningDoes it even matter what I think anymore?
Does anyone even care?
It seems no matter how hard I try,
No one seems to understand.
All I want is for someone to see below the surface,
I'M NOT OKAY,
I feel like I could scream it in your face,
Muster up the courage to put it in a text,
I could write it on the small of your back with my fingers,
I could cut long scars on my arms,
If it will only get you to see...
I want to let you in,
I want to shove you away.
I don't know to how to help myself,
How are you supposed to help me?
I think about suicide like a normal girl thinks of icecream,
It's a thought that never goes away.
All I can think of is the anger, frustration, the hurt, the pain, the emptiness,
I feel empty,
I feel like there is nothing here.
Why can't I get anyone to see?
Why can't you understand...?
That I am drowning,
And I can't save myself.
Self DiscoveryI just need some time to breathe,
I'm not sure what's inside of me,
Not sure how to channel all the anger, all the pain
Not sure how to take care of myself.
I'm not sure if needing someone is good or bad,
I feel like free falling backwards,
And there is nothing there to save me.
If I ever crash, will be there be someone to miss me?
Someone who will care?
Is there something I can do
To make the hurt go away,
To make the emptiness cease,
To make me feel like I'm worth something again
Will I ever learn the true meaning of being me?
Love- Stupid Title, Overused-The soft sounds of your breathing,
The sound of your heart beating inside your chest,
The smile that never leaves your face when you're with me,
The love the swells up inside of me.
Is it really possible to love something as much as I love you?
The soft sound of your voice as it calls to me,
The sweet taste of your lips as they touch mine
The tenderness of your skin against my skin
Love is different than anything I have ever known.
It's a feeling that no matter how many words I think of to describe it, I can't think of one that hits it just right,
Not one word can describe what you make me feel inside,
Not one moment can sum up everything I feel,
Love is something you can't just say.
I feel in right here in my heart,
The heart that aches for you when you are away,
The heart that beats so loudly when you are close,
The heart that won't let anyone else near it.
My love is only for you, and you only,
My love, my only.
The Wisdom of A ChildThere I was at the orphanage that day, and there I came across a little boy;
A little boy, who did not wear the face of a child, but instead a face of pain.
I turn to the teacher at the orphanage and I ask, "Who is that sad little boy?"
The teacher doesn't even have to look up to know who I am speaking of,
"That's Tyler." She said, "He's from Haiti." I walk towards the little boy, and I ask
"Why are you so sad?" Tyler just looked at me and said, "Let me tell you my story."
I was running, running so far away, I could feel the soles of my shoes breaking,
but I had to get myself away from that place. It was never my home.
I thought of their faces, a clear picture ran across my mind.
My mother's smile, my sister's dimple, it just pushed me to run even faster;
I had to run away.
That very nigh
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Saving my BabyBaby how I am supposed to love you,
How am I supposed to take care of you?
When you won't let me in.
I try so hard to so to show you that you can depend on me,
To be the shoulder you can lean on
All I want is for you just to let me see what you're feeling,
No matter how hard I push,
I am pushed back even farther.
Baby how are we supposed to be together,
When we can't communicate?
When I can't be let in when your hurting?
My heart breaks because I can't help you,
My soul is dying because you won't even give me a chance.
Baby I love you
Please let me in
I am crying out for you to let me out of the darkness on the outside,
And let into the light of your heart.
Baby if you don't let me in,
How are we supposed to get through?
How can you truly love me,
When I can't be let in to see the hurt that your hiding from me,
When I am shoved away for trying...
Baby what would you have me do?
I'm trying to save us,
I'm trying to save you...
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More