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RebeccaI hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his heart,
I'll never have a chance with him,
You stole his heart.
You stole his mind so he can only think of you,
He will never think about me,
All he will think about is the time you spent together,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his mind.
You stole his eyes,
So when he looks at me he sees right through me,
When he looks at the house all he thinks about is how you were here, you were there,
His eyes compare me to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his eyes.
You stole my happiness,
I never knew you Rebecca,
But everyone compares me to you,
The housekeeper, the servants,
Forever devoted to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole my happiness.
ConfusedHow am I supposed to feel?
It is hard not to cry,
Not to scream and shout,
How are you supposed to feel
when the little girl you spent all your time playing with,
Suddenly becomes a boy.
When she wants to be called he,
When she says call me Cody,
When one day she walks through the door and she is not a woman anymore
What are you supposed to do?
You want to be supportive,
But all you feel is shock,
All traces of that girl is gone,
But is she still there inside?
Is the little girl I grew up with still there?
Will I ever see her again?
My whole perspective is shifted and I am thrown on my face.
I am not sure how to act around you anymore,
Afraid to offend,
Afraid of the fact that I don't understand,
What it is your thinking,
What it is your going through,
I am confused with how I feel, what am I supposed to do?
When all I want to say is she, she,
And all you want is he, he,
How did I not see this to start with?
Why I am so confused?
What do you want me to do?
Dexter MorganMy darkness follows me whenever I go
I cannot tame it
I cannot even give a name to it
It always controls me.
No matter how much I want to get rid of it I cannot
No matter how much I want to be normal, I will not be
Until I have this dreadful dark passenger away from me.
I cannot sleep at night
Killing occupies my every thought
Even if they deserve to die
Society views it as wrong.
I pretend to be normal
I pretend to have a soul
I pretend to be a human
Even though I am not one.
Why has the human's god
Chosen this path for me?
Why must I live with the fact
that I am a monster
And always will be one.
Easy= BoringIf life was so easy
I'm not exactly sure where I would be
Would I ever work to achieve my dream?
Or would I have it just handed to me?
If life was so easy
I wonder if I would have worries or cares
What would that feeling be,
To never have thoughts occupy my brain
Would I just be a mindless blob?
Forever content with lackluster?
Would life even be worth living anymore?
If life was so easy
If life was so easy
Would I even be inspired to write these words?
Or would I just waste all my thoughts away?
Would I ever have any thoughts at all?
If like was so easy
I think I'd rather not live at all
If life was so easy
Stop HurtingIt's easier to hurt someone,
But it's harder to be the one hurting.
It's hard to see the faces they make when you walk away,
Or when you say something.
It's hard to feel like your not included in anything,
Your too shy to stand up and speak for yourself
When you finally get up the courage to speak,
What do you say?
It's hard to trust someone
It's hard to depend on someone
When all you can think about is how will they hurt you,
How do you keep it from happening?
You become a shadow of yourself,
You see weakness in someone else,
So you smash it in order to feel better.
I wish I could make myself feel better,
So I could help someone else.
I wish I could not get caught up in the cycle,
I wish I could get myself out.
DrowningDoes it even matter what I think anymore?
Does anyone even care?
It seems no matter how hard I try,
No one seems to understand.
All I want is for someone to see below the surface,
I'M NOT OKAY,
I feel like I could scream it in your face,
Muster up the courage to put it in a text,
I could write it on the small of your back with my fingers,
I could cut long scars on my arms,
If it will only get you to see...
I want to let you in,
I want to shove you away.
I don't know to how to help myself,
How are you supposed to help me?
I think about suicide like a normal girl thinks of icecream,
It's a thought that never goes away.
All I can think of is the anger, frustration, the hurt, the pain, the emptiness,
I feel empty,
I feel like there is nothing here.
Why can't I get anyone to see?
Why can't you understand...?
That I am drowning,
And I can't save myself.
Self DiscoveryI just need some time to breathe,
I'm not sure what's inside of me,
Not sure how to channel all the anger, all the pain
Not sure how to take care of myself.
I'm not sure if needing someone is good or bad,
I feel like free falling backwards,
And there is nothing there to save me.
If I ever crash, will be there be someone to miss me?
Someone who will care?
Is there something I can do
To make the hurt go away,
To make the emptiness cease,
To make me feel like I'm worth something again
Will I ever learn the true meaning of being me?
Love- Stupid Title, Overused-The soft sounds of your breathing,
The sound of your heart beating inside your chest,
The smile that never leaves your face when you're with me,
The love the swells up inside of me.
Is it really possible to love something as much as I love you?
The soft sound of your voice as it calls to me,
The sweet taste of your lips as they touch mine
The tenderness of your skin against my skin
Love is different than anything I have ever known.
It's a feeling that no matter how many words I think of to describe it, I can't think of one that hits it just right,
Not one word can describe what you make me feel inside,
Not one moment can sum up everything I feel,
Love is something you can't just say.
I feel in right here in my heart,
The heart that aches for you when you are away,
The heart that beats so loudly when you are close,
The heart that won't let anyone else near it.
My love is only for you, and you only,
My love, my only.
The Wisdom of A ChildThere I was at the orphanage that day, and there I came across a little boy;
A little boy, who did not wear the face of a child, but instead a face of pain.
I turn to the teacher at the orphanage and I ask, "Who is that sad little boy?"
The teacher doesn't even have to look up to know who I am speaking of,
"That's Tyler." She said, "He's from Haiti." I walk towards the little boy, and I ask
"Why are you so sad?" Tyler just looked at me and said, "Let me tell you my story."
I was running, running so far away, I could feel the soles of my shoes breaking,
but I had to get myself away from that place. It was never my home.
I thought of their faces, a clear picture ran across my mind.
My mother's smile, my sister's dimple, it just pushed me to run even faster;
I had to run away.
That very nigh
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
VI I. Today I am Vanilla tea
on balmy days when the air is still
fresh with the scent of cicadas
and mown grass baked in the sun
clippings stuck to your feet as you
my bedspread is white and so is my coffin.i can feel
the night closing
the stars are breaking
empty glass bottles
inside of my
mouth, and they taste like
ambien. bitter, then
but you still can't close your fucking eyes
little blue pills for
eyes– it was winter and i
dreams of nothing more than
nothing. the devil
tied chains around all the
vessels in my
body. laughed, and by god i
laughed too (and laughedandlaughedandlaughed).
this will all be over soon i swear i will take everything off your skin and bones and burn it up
and then january took the world
in it's grip and i
drowned in the snow that
will never hydrate the
can you hear that it's the night and it's so beautiful so come here darling and we'll watch the sun rise and set and rise and
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
Saving my BabyBaby how I am supposed to love you,
How am I supposed to take care of you?
When you won't let me in.
I try so hard to so to show you that you can depend on me,
To be the shoulder you can lean on
All I want is for you just to let me see what you're feeling,
No matter how hard I push,
I am pushed back even farther.
Baby how are we supposed to be together,
When we can't communicate?
When I can't be let in when your hurting?
My heart breaks because I can't help you,
My soul is dying because you won't even give me a chance.
Baby I love you
Please let me in
I am crying out for you to let me out of the darkness on the outside,
And let into the light of your heart.
Baby if you don't let me in,
How are we supposed to get through?
How can you truly love me,
When I can't be let in to see the hurt that your hiding from me,
When I am shoved away for trying...
Baby what would you have me do?
I'm trying to save us,
I'm trying to save you...
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More