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RebeccaI hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his heart,
I'll never have a chance with him,
You stole his heart.
You stole his mind so he can only think of you,
He will never think about me,
All he will think about is the time you spent together,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his mind.
You stole his eyes,
So when he looks at me he sees right through me,
When he looks at the house all he thinks about is how you were here, you were there,
His eyes compare me to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole his eyes.
You stole my happiness,
I never knew you Rebecca,
But everyone compares me to you,
The housekeeper, the servants,
Forever devoted to you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
You stole my happiness.
ConfusedHow am I supposed to feel?
It is hard not to cry,
Not to scream and shout,
How are you supposed to feel
when the little girl you spent all your time playing with,
Suddenly becomes a boy.
When she wants to be called he,
When she says call me Cody,
When one day she walks through the door and she is not a woman anymore
What are you supposed to do?
You want to be supportive,
But all you feel is shock,
All traces of that girl is gone,
But is she still there inside?
Is the little girl I grew up with still there?
Will I ever see her again?
My whole perspective is shifted and I am thrown on my face.
I am not sure how to act around you anymore,
Afraid to offend,
Afraid of the fact that I don't understand,
What it is your thinking,
What it is your going through,
I am confused with how I feel, what am I supposed to do?
When all I want to say is she, she,
And all you want is he, he,
How did I not see this to start with?
Why I am so confused?
What do you want me to do?
Dexter MorganMy darkness follows me whenever I go
I cannot tame it
I cannot even give a name to it
It always controls me.
No matter how much I want to get rid of it I cannot
No matter how much I want to be normal, I will not be
Until I have this dreadful dark passenger away from me.
I cannot sleep at night
Killing occupies my every thought
Even if they deserve to die
Society views it as wrong.
I pretend to be normal
I pretend to have a soul
I pretend to be a human
Even though I am not one.
Why has the human's god
Chosen this path for me?
Why must I live with the fact
that I am a monster
And always will be one.
Easy= BoringIf life was so easy
I'm not exactly sure where I would be
Would I ever work to achieve my dream?
Or would I have it just handed to me?
If life was so easy
I wonder if I would have worries or cares
What would that feeling be,
To never have thoughts occupy my brain
Would I just be a mindless blob?
Forever content with lackluster?
Would life even be worth living anymore?
If life was so easy
If life was so easy
Would I even be inspired to write these words?
Or would I just waste all my thoughts away?
Would I ever have any thoughts at all?
If like was so easy
I think I'd rather not live at all
If life was so easy
Stop HurtingIt's easier to hurt someone,
But it's harder to be the one hurting.
It's hard to see the faces they make when you walk away,
Or when you say something.
It's hard to feel like your not included in anything,
Your too shy to stand up and speak for yourself
When you finally get up the courage to speak,
What do you say?
It's hard to trust someone
It's hard to depend on someone
When all you can think about is how will they hurt you,
How do you keep it from happening?
You become a shadow of yourself,
You see weakness in someone else,
So you smash it in order to feel better.
I wish I could make myself feel better,
So I could help someone else.
I wish I could not get caught up in the cycle,
I wish I could get myself out.
DrowningDoes it even matter what I think anymore?
Does anyone even care?
It seems no matter how hard I try,
No one seems to understand.
All I want is for someone to see below the surface,
I'M NOT OKAY,
I feel like I could scream it in your face,
Muster up the courage to put it in a text,
I could write it on the small of your back with my fingers,
I could cut long scars on my arms,
If it will only get you to see...
I want to let you in,
I want to shove you away.
I don't know to how to help myself,
How are you supposed to help me?
I think about suicide like a normal girl thinks of icecream,
It's a thought that never goes away.
All I can think of is the anger, frustration, the hurt, the pain, the emptiness,
I feel empty,
I feel like there is nothing here.
Why can't I get anyone to see?
Why can't you understand...?
That I am drowning,
And I can't save myself.
Self DiscoveryI just need some time to breathe,
I'm not sure what's inside of me,
Not sure how to channel all the anger, all the pain
Not sure how to take care of myself.
I'm not sure if needing someone is good or bad,
I feel like free falling backwards,
And there is nothing there to save me.
If I ever crash, will be there be someone to miss me?
Someone who will care?
Is there something I can do
To make the hurt go away,
To make the emptiness cease,
To make me feel like I'm worth something again
Will I ever learn the true meaning of being me?
Love- Stupid Title, Overused-The soft sounds of your breathing,
The sound of your heart beating inside your chest,
The smile that never leaves your face when you're with me,
The love the swells up inside of me.
Is it really possible to love something as much as I love you?
The soft sound of your voice as it calls to me,
The sweet taste of your lips as they touch mine
The tenderness of your skin against my skin
Love is different than anything I have ever known.
It's a feeling that no matter how many words I think of to describe it, I can't think of one that hits it just right,
Not one word can describe what you make me feel inside,
Not one moment can sum up everything I feel,
Love is something you can't just say.
I feel in right here in my heart,
The heart that aches for you when you are away,
The heart that beats so loudly when you are close,
The heart that won't let anyone else near it.
My love is only for you, and you only,
My love, my only.
The Wisdom of A ChildThere I was at the orphanage that day, and there I came across a little boy;
A little boy, who did not wear the face of a child, but instead a face of pain.
I turn to the teacher at the orphanage and I ask, "Who is that sad little boy?"
The teacher doesn't even have to look up to know who I am speaking of,
"That's Tyler." She said, "He's from Haiti." I walk towards the little boy, and I ask
"Why are you so sad?" Tyler just looked at me and said, "Let me tell you my story."
I was running, running so far away, I could feel the soles of my shoes breaking,
but I had to get myself away from that place. It was never my home.
I thought of their faces, a clear picture ran across my mind.
My mother's smile, my sister's dimple, it just pushed me to run even faster;
I had to run away.
That very nigh
I am a MouseI am a mouse.
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
A void within meAlone on this inhospitable night, once again
I let my memories guide my lost steps,
Wandering amid the ghosts of my past.
As I walk along the quay,
I stare at the feeble Seine flowing:
She's dying by the street lamps' hands
While the whole city asphyxiates.
Reflecting my own lack of humanity
Over the river's lighted surface,
Griefs come and go at the water's rhythm.
Once again, on this breathtaking night,
My feelings are sealed and my chest hollow.
Purple rain, chills of cold.... Or regret? I crave
My musical drug, my remaining salvation,
Spreading a sweet poison within me and
Eroding the remaining happiness I still have.
I plug my headphones...
A grin of relief appears on my weary face,
I flee to lenient lands, where a familiar Angel tucks me in.
These notes of violin split the immutable silence,
Fill the hole in, lit a bonfire to my soul.
This mermaid sings my dreams to me,
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
The PointIt’s the taste of cake mix on the spoon, that first time you ‘help’ bake a cake.
It’s seeing the bright world afresh after a dark nightmare, when you first wake.
It’s when you make them laugh and, in that moment, everyone loves a clown.
It’s when your heart stops before the roller coaster plummets down, down.
It’s when the lights go out before your favourite band plays and you scream.
It’s that moment you look around and everything’s perfect enough to be a dream.
It’s the anticipation of waiting for a new episode of your favourite television show.
It’s the first time you listen to your favourite record and you just sort of know.
It’s reading a book cover-to-cover and a million times more and still crying at the ending.
It’s the stiff, tight, real feeling of a smiling scab as you watch the wound mending.
It’s when you first meet your best friend and you hate each other (but in a good way).
california wintersthe tears
I rationed have all
run out. Tuesday comes
up behind me and steals
my breath; my cat snores.
she can’t sleep soundly
since she lost her seventh
life. I’m like that, I’m always
worried someone will try to steal
what I’ve already given away.
I miss color. newsprint sobs
washed me out. I am a
blank canvas, I am a faceless,
I am one
of you. I wake up sweating
and it’s winter and I can’t
sleep because my memories
follow me between my sheets;
jake still won’t listen.
we never knew we were the
lucky ones, we scarred, too. don’t
touch me. don’t want
me, don’t bare my bones
when you think I’m not
watching. I’m afraid of
myself. breathing loud
enough that others know
I exist; you follow me,
needing, laughing, it’s
a game. who has lost
the most, we all want
to win; I’m so tired, so scared,
there’s no one in the world
who sees me. I can’t cry.
we’re in a drought.
Saving my BabyBaby how I am supposed to love you,
How am I supposed to take care of you?
When you won't let me in.
I try so hard to so to show you that you can depend on me,
To be the shoulder you can lean on
All I want is for you just to let me see what you're feeling,
No matter how hard I push,
I am pushed back even farther.
Baby how are we supposed to be together,
When we can't communicate?
When I can't be let in when your hurting?
My heart breaks because I can't help you,
My soul is dying because you won't even give me a chance.
Baby I love you
Please let me in
I am crying out for you to let me out of the darkness on the outside,
And let into the light of your heart.
Baby if you don't let me in,
How are we supposed to get through?
How can you truly love me,
When I can't be let in to see the hurt that your hiding from me,
When I am shoved away for trying...
Baby what would you have me do?
I'm trying to save us,
I'm trying to save you...
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More